It was a busy morning for me. A longer than normal to-do list nagging me along.

Just as I’m settling in to get focused, a loud knock on the door. Answer it or keep working? Heavy knock again. Okay, definitely not the UPS man. Fine. I’ll get it, could be important.

As I move toward the door I see a neighbor standing on my porch. Oh man. I don’t have time for a friendly chat, not today. As I open the door and attempt a hello, I find a generously extended bundle of fresh organic garden veggies – which are undoubtedly irresistible.

“Lovely, just lovely – but I don’t have time to chat”, my brain is saying.

“This person deserves a moment of your time and gratitude”, my heart gently remarks.

“But you know every time you step away and get involved in a friendly chat – which is pointless by the way – the clock keeps ticking”, my brain snaps back.

My neighbor’s mouth is moving, but I can’t hear his words over the argument between my head and heart. I slowly come to grips with the fact that this conversation IS happening and I need to take a breath and come into it. As I become mindful and present, I hear him sharing with me details regarding his childhood. The tales take me to a different place and time. Asia in the early 1940s. Very different than the suburban garden from which my veggies came.

This moment of clarity still sticks with me today – reminding me that even when we are inconvenienced, annoyed or irritated by someone, that we have a choice. 

Head Versus Heart

I’m now actively listening to the story and find myself becoming more and more aware that this person is not looking to take up my perceived precious work time. But instead is looking to share a part of themselves with me in a genuine and authentic way – to connect. And it’s in this moment, that I’m able to consciously listen to my heart – which is saying “see the God in this person – recognize it – it’s the same as you – you are connected”.

This moment of clarity still sticks with me today – reminding me that even when we are inconvenienced, annoyed or irritated by someone, that we have a choice. A choice to see the God in them, in the sacredness of the moment, or not.

It’s Your Choice

How has this type of situation shown up for you? The chatty member at the health club you try to avoid? The co-worker that just won’t let you past their cube on Monday morning? Or maybe the sales clerk who’s is merely trying to be helpful when you are in a rush? It’s now clearer to me than ever that we have a choice. Be annoyed and step out of the moment, or become present and feel the connectedness that exists amongst each of us.

What’s The Benefit of Active Listening?

You may argue that acknowledging and actively listening costs too much time. And it’s true it may cost you some time. But consider the pay-offs in your relationships by asking yourself the following questions…

• How many interactions do I have during the day that play a key role in the success of my job?
• If I became truly present in those conversations how would it change the outcome for me? For the other person?
• Am I on auto-pilot moving from one responsibility to the next? Or am I able to be present with a person in a way that tells them that they matter?
• How do I feel personally when I know that my boss or spouse has actively listened and been present for me?
• How does it feel when I know that I’ve done that for others?

In the moment that I truly saw my neighbor, the essence of this person, I changed. A change that felt good to me. Really good. Almost as if he were a messenger for me that day. To remind me that kindness and intention count. That acknowledging a person matters, and may in fact be the most important task you can cross off you to-do list for the day.

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