What do your friends say about you? No, I don’t mean what’s the latest gossip. I’m talking about the idea that “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. Yep, that’s right. At work or play, the company that you keep matters.

Photo courtesy of Andrew Neel

Sounding a little too much like the advice your mom gave you as a teen? Well I hate to break it to you…but she was right…

A few years ago while prepping for a keynote address I came across this quote by renowned businessman Jim Rohn. “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.”

How perfect. My audience was comprised of college business students who were knocking on the door of graduation and more than hungry for real world advice.

“You are the average of the 5 people

you spend the most time with.”

When I finished my speech, several of the students approached me to discuss this topic further. After all, five people seemed like such a small number. Was it really true?

When you think about it, I bet you do have a top five. And they really do have significant influence on what you say, how you act and even the decisions you make.

Business Versus Pleasure

Does this hold true both personally and professionally? Yes. Absolutely. And for entrepreneurs it may be even more critical with the two worlds colliding.

In work settings we don’t always have the choice to interact exclusively with the people who align to our values and priorities. But you can make decisions around what your conversations consist of and how much time you do spend with them.

At first it might appear that the personal five are easier to manage. And sure, you do have more control here generally speaking. But those social commitments…

Maybe your kids are involved in sports with a group of parents who wouldn’t be your first choice as evening and weekend pals. Or the on-going obligation with a church or community group that does your heart good, but has a drama component you would rather steer clear of. And don’t forget the toxic friend or family member who is chronically “dumping” all of their junk on you.

It might not be as easy as we would like.

So what can you do?

Add It Up

• Take a quick inventory of the 5 people you spend the most time with personally and/or professionally.
• Give each personal a score between 1 and 10 on whether or not they bring out the best in you. 10 being the best, 1 the lowest. And be honest. This exercise is for your eyes only AND is for your well-being.
• Your scores of 8 – 10 are the keepers without a doubt. The 5 – 7 range is respectable, but manage with caution. And below 5 is the danger zone.

Be Mindful of Your “Average Five People”

If the “Add It Up” exercise feels harsh or judgmental, remember that you are responsible for you. Staying committed to yourself and your well-being is for real. Being wishy-washy about it only keeps you from moving forward in life.

Happiness and success arrive when we are in alignment with who we are truly meant to be. And in that specific order by the way. Happiness then success.

So don’t feel self-conscious. Honor your journey and be mindful of making the choices that bring out the best in you. This is actually what’s best for everyone. And you already know that a better you makes for a better world. 

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